Busy times: job search and family update

It’s been a super busy time these last couple of weeks as I juggle a busy job, a job search, volunteering all day every Saturday, and my family. Luckily, the excitement of the changes and opportunities associated with the job search and subsequent life change are helping to fuel an overabundance of energy.

•           Family: things are SOOOO much better since my depression lifted while I felt “trapped” in my awful job that changed so dramatically for the worse last August, and I’m actually stepping into the next phase of my life. We had a wonderful Valentine’s Day and ½ year anniversary last week. Yes, we celebrate our anniversary every 6 months! We started it because it’s the day before Valentine’s, so it gives us the option of going out on the 13^th and staying home and avoiding the crowds and chaos on the 14^th. Todd and I have been together 2.5 years now! The last half year was tough on us. But, we’re through it and we’re stronger and even more committed. Yay!

We also “got away” a little bit this weekend. We went wine tasting up in Santa Ynez wine country on Sunday and camped out for the night at El Capitan state park. It was a lot of fun and our first time camping out together. We brought the dogs, and they really added to the whole experience. We would do a wine tasting, then go exploring with the dogs to burn off the alcohol. Then, repeat at another winery. We got lazy with the camping and figured we could all just crash in the back of Todd’s station wagon. That’s Todd, me, and almost 200 pounds of dog! It didn’t work as well as we had hoped. We were pretty cramped! We got up early (as soon as the sun came up!) and let the dogs run around as we explored the park. No one was around, so we didn’t have to worry about bothering anyone or getting in trouble. They loved it, and that made Todd and me extra happy.

•           Job search: it’s going pretty well. I actually think I’m going to be receiving an offer for a job that sounds really challenging and is a good fit for my long-term goals. They just want to talk with my 2 references. But, we already talked a bit about money and when I could start, so that’s a really good sign. The only issue is that, while they’re very conveniently located in Beverly Hills right now, they’re moving to Santa Monica later this year. Ugh. That will take my commute from 25 minutes to 40-60 minutes. I’ve been struggling with that. I wish I had more potential jobs on the table right now to weigh against it. But, I don’t. I interviewed for a job down at LAX (what was I thinking?!). It was a 40 minute drive down there in the middle of the day with no traffic. It took me 1.5 hours to get home during rush hour. No Thank You!

I just wish I had more good jobs to explore so I could compare. Job searches are completely dependent on the timing. Maybe in March or April my dream job would become available, but I need to find a job sooner than that. So, it’s a total gamble. No, I’m not committing my life to this next job, but I really hope to be there at least 2 years.

One thing I’d like to mention: my next job is going to be very busy. No more playing online during the day. It’s going to be all work and no play. That’s VERY different from my current job. And, I’m ready for that now. Having less to do at work has often played with my mind – making me feel guilty and like I’m being complacent about not really growing as the years went by (remember I’ve been here 5 years now). But, I have to remind myself that I NEEDED my job to be like this these past few years. During my tenure here:

•           my sister committed suicide. I needed to take a LOT of time off to deal with that. Other companies wouldn’t have bent over backwards to support me like WB did.

•           I recovered from 14 years of bulimia and 30 years of rage, panic disorder, depression, and persistent, paralyzing fear. That took a lot of time and focus. I admit that I often used company time to work on my “homework” for my coach. We even had our weekly one hour phone sessions while I was at work. I wouldn’t have been able to do that at another job.

•           I wrote this blog. Again, I admit that I often used company time to write for the blog. I never put off work to do it. I just had more free time in this job than I probably should have in a corporate job.

I am now officially and fully ready to tackle a challenging job, where I’ll need to learn and grow and really stretch to meet demands. I’m ready to focus all day, every day on my work. The job I’m thinking of taking will get me that much closer to my long-term career goals. I’m scared because I haven’t had to work hard for over 5 years, and I’ve forgotten SOO much of the stuff I’ll need to do the job. But, I’m ready for the fear – I’ll turn it into energy and excitement to get creative and somehow figure out and learn what I need to learn. I’m done with complacency and boredom. I’m ready.

Comments

[Sharon]

I enjoyed reading your update. Thanks for keeping your loyal fans posted on your progress, Michelle. It is really encouraging to learn that you are living your life so honestly after recovering from the discouraging conditions (can't think of a better word than that right now) we have had in common.

[Michelle Hope]

Thanks so much, Sharon, for taking the time to share your thoughts. I'm happy to hear you don't mind when I just rattle on about my life!

[wilhelmina]

if you quit bulimia after a year or so...
does it make sence for your stomach to swell up within the first two weeks of eating normally?
thank you for reading this =)

hoursaid@gmail.com

[Michelle Hope]

Hello Wilhelmina. Yes, it makes sense for your stomach to bloat in recovery. It's incredibly common. Of course, women get bloated a lot anyway! It's funny you wrote me with this question today, because I've been very puzzled as to why I've been so bloated today - my ankles are even bloated! I spent a good five minutes just looking at them tonight - weird.

Bloat will pass. This is another reason why I encourage people in recovery to stock up on "recovery wear" - clothes that are loose and comfy BUT NOT SWEATS! Sweats can make you feel dumpy and ugly (at least they do for me). Get some cute cargo pants or yoga pants and try not to worry about it. It WILL PASS.

Love,
Michelle

[frasse]

Michelle,I have had a battle with my bulimia for 18 years. It went from pure bulimia to drug and alcohol addition to "control" curve binging and purging habits.I have found your website insightful. everything on your site is like a mirror of my life. it's comforting to know someone else is battling as well.